Legends of Equestria Wiki

Wooden Nickel is a unicorn NPC who can be found inside the saloon in Applewood. When spoken to, he will give the quest They're On to My Lampshades.


  • "Ya see a right catch but he be a mite skittish, ye know what ye do? Ya tallyhassle him with the ole razzle dazzle, gets them like a hoot in a hurricane errytime!"
  • "When people be hooting aboot the heatin and it's all gonna come-a-crumbling, ye know what I do? Hogwash, I dun drop prices 15% for em!"
  • "Gettin them tar pony up justa bleak yer falsehoods in tha gut is a perfect rut! The cleverest hand has tha most chips, and the river's always open!"
  • "Ya best not go canoodling in straits ain't yer donnybrook, ya ramblin' bibble!"
  • "I be seein' yer a right dandy in the noodle. Ya ain't one o' them dim bulbs, I ain't be peddling my trade to yer!"
  • "Ain't nothing like a independant flinch ter take a far-minded gibbuns and set em all caddywumpus, that's why yer milk the gooduns until thair ship be sailin' tail under thair legs. Ne'er see it comin."
  • "I mean I dun got this here horn and I be a figurin' it oughta pack a whallop if I just had me a couple a notions ter get the engine going, ken? But I swear ta chartreuse in practise it's a right malarkey!"
  • "By George tha world's a jungle, and we're all in it, sink er swim!"
  • "Confound it, I'd'a sworn it takes a lick and a shake ter earn a ruddy wetting, teetotallin' lawponies be derned!"
  • "Had me a pinch back in the aughties, right nipswerver he was I tell ya that, but ya take em out hair and they be all spattering and buffooning, bad fer business and ya just gotta hightaill yer housecats, I bet ye know what im talkin' aboot if yer toasting tea yerself, I can read em errytime."